Tuesday, September 8, 2009

gay man in Ghana

Gays For Jesus comments on an article that goes over a gay man in Ghana.
That article’s title:

How can a gay man in Ghana, West Africa, find friends and possibly a partner?

by Philip
(Accra, Ghana, West Africa)

gays4jeus: I read the guy wants a date. Gays everywhere wants someone to be with just like str8s and you are gay or str8 so you already know what this guy wants “love”

Rick Brentlinger Answers -

Thanks for the good question Philip. Building friendships is an important part of building a successful life. Here is the advice I have for you.

1. Be sure that you know Jesus as your personal Friend and Savior. He should be your best Friend.
Who is Jesus?
How to know FOR SURE you are saved.
gays4jesus: put simply… (God be merciful to me a sinner! I believe Christ died on the Cross for me, that God rose him on the 3rd day, and that His Precious Blood will cleanse me from all my sins. Forgive me of my sins and come into my heart as my Lord and my Savior. Help me Lord to do thy will each day. In Jesus name I pray. In Jesus Name Amen.)

2. Be a good, reliable, trustworthy Christian friend to others. The Bible says,
"A man that has friends must show himself friendly." -Proverbs 18:24
That means be friendly to others. If you find someone interesting, go up and introduce yourself. Talk to them and find out what makes them tick. Discover their interests, their dreams, their goals in life.
gays4jesus: in otherwords… Matt 22:37-40 37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. 38 This is the first and great commandment. 39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. 40 On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. (KJV)
Discover their interests” easier said than done. He wants to meet someone first so he can treat them as he treats himself as it were.

3. Prepare yourself for a good career by finding something you enjoy doing. Take time to train yourself. It may require you to go to University or to spend time learning a skill.
Your life's work may be running your own business or it may be training to become a nurse or doctor. If you enjoy your work, it won't seem so much like work.
gays4jesus: could be he already has a good job or in these days in his country getting a good job might be easier said than done. Love is between two people and requires nothing more. Yes could be nice to have all the amenities of life and universities are expensive, but:
Matt 19:24 And again I say unto you, It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God. KJV)
so is a good career the norm in the world? Could be a long wait for love then.

4. Realize that lifelong friendships are built on shared beliefs and values. Friendship takes work and time and effort. Friendship takes understanding and prayer and patience.
gays4jesus: Western countries and many other countries are eyeball countries meaning “I see, I want, I take. 69% of confirmed born again believer have sex on the first date in the USA according to a study done by a Trinity Broadcasting Network Favorite researcher. I believe in real life and yes do these steps 1 – 7 are very important but are useless if you are one alone person. FACTS and real life are very helpful and keep you sane. It tells you are not strange or have something others avoid. If most won’t or hardly don’t or take sound logical advice but, just go out find someone and marry them and later maybe divorcing so no real role models are out there to assist you. Most of the time you find a person that has done as it were all this wonderful advice and or preach it turns out to be someone that was rare that really accidently married their first date and thinks everyone should do as they. This is not real world LIFE. What I am saying is not against God, Jesus, or the Bible. We are in a messed up in finding love scenarios today because of 2000 years of trying to do love different from the Bible where family heads planned marriage from birth. We gave ourselves the choice to marry and most of this choice stems direct from 12th century pagan gods rituals. You should already be working as soon as your education is over and it should not be based on planning for a future spouse. Your life is your life and you should already be having most of these 7 steps in operation without relating it to seeking a spouse.

5. Realize that your life partner should probably be chosen from among your friends. Your partner in life must be someone with whom you share spiritual beliefs and values. Your partner in life must be someone with whom you enjoy spending time.
gays4jesus: 2 Cor 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? (KJV)
This is fabulous advice, but again our eyes are our boss we see someone too hot to trot and we go for it. Sometimes we are lucky most of the time it takes a few attempts to find someone we can settle down with. Friends may be the worst place to find a date, but a good place to go date hunting as it were. Long-term relationship is something not known short term so any date may or may not be the life partner. We at least in western countries like on a trial and error method of dating. BIBLE? Sometime that is almost a laugh. I mean this in that Christians are not using Bible to decide who their life partner will be. They may pray for God to help, but often it is God I want this one or that one. Actually nothing wrong with that.
gays4jesus: Gen 29:17-18 17 Leah was tender eyed; but Rachel was beautiful and well favoured. 18 And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter. (KJV)
Jacob’s eyes wanted Rachel, but he has to marry Leah to get Rachel and his Uncle made up more rules along that way. God we must assume would not or was his plan that Jacob would not get his eye’s desires the first time around. Real life often means you will go though more than one person before you are finished. All the good intentions of saying no sex before marriage or don’t so anything till you meet the person and then stay with that person always just are not real life. Is God wrong or are we just not understanding relationships so made our own rules saying its God’s rules?

6. Your partner in life should be a fellow Christian. The Bible says, "How can two walk together except they be agreed?" If your partner is not a born again Christian, he will not be able to share the spiritual part of your life.
gays4jesus: 1 Cor 7:14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. (KJV)
Again ideally, Christians should marry Christians and then they should be in the same denomination to boot. However, with additional hardships marrying unbelievers is not against God and God provides sanctification. Also: 1 Cor 7:16 For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife? (KJV)
No cut and dry rules of engagement, within reason the “all is fair in love and war” phrase is real life which God through Jesus is with you 100% and will always help you in your mistakes.

Focus your life on believing the Bible, living according to Biblical values and serving God with your life. Surround yourself with friends who also love God.
gays4jesus: putting Jesus at the center of your life and your married life is about as important as importance can get for your life. Keep in mind the world does not stop for unbelievers, they date and marry and what is involved with them are same day-to-day joys and problems. Being a Christian means you are having a relationship for eternity with Jesus Christ. Love is a God given human trait and satan worshippers have it too. 1000s of years have gone by and love brought the world to almost 7 billion people, broad is the way to destruction and narrow is the gate to everlasting life with Jesus Christ. My point is advice is good but God and all things have many opportunities for all people. Standfast in the WORD, but don’t put blinders on for all God’s creation. You as a gay Ghana man do not have the same opportunities as I do in the USA. How you meet someone to date and love may not have some of the luxuries we have in the west. Gays find ways in a world that often hates them. Some of those ways are flat out sins for str8s. and some of those same sins gays are forced to commit because it may be the only way they get anything like love. Whether other accept this or not I tell you those sins will be charged to the CHURCH not you as a gay person that could face a way that most the Church calls sin. I would never advise going out to prostitutes or orgies or some things that just would unhealthful and abusive. But, the past shows gays forced out of mainline acceptance into corners of what would appear would n ot lead to a long term caring loving relationship. Today, even in the most suppressive countries gays have access to a more dignified way of meeting others. Here is what this man asked:

“How can a gay man in Ghana, West Africa, find friends and possibly a partner?”
It is assumed he is a Christians and that is also how I will assume it. REAL LIFE! He wants locations of meeting places of gay men. If there is no gay church i.e. MCC which is in many countries or no easily found gay Christian group near him, then he need gay bars, restaurants, parks, or other gay hang outs. He needs access to computer and if he has this he needs links to gay Ghana guys.
http://www.mcc4.org/ Region 4 includes Ghana but maybe nothing in this country, nearby countries have MCC. This link maybe be helpful as it covers Ghana.

MCC House Church in Nairobi
Pastor: Rev Michael Kimindu
http://www.gayghana.org/ Gay Ghana Online Community
example of “personals”

Gay man who is currently single and looking for friends or dating or a long term relationship or intimate encounters with a gay traveler

My Vitals:
Age: 18 , Height: 5'06" 168cm , Weight: 115lbs 52kg , Body Type: Slim
Ethnicity: Black

Where I Live:
Tema Accra, Tema GHANA

TRAVELOOK listing:
i like travelers because they are nice and good and i also love to explore the world.and i love activities and love to date gays.
It is not very easy for a gay man in Ghana to find someone as I am trying to get a few examples how to actually help such a person like in this artcle., but there are ways for gays to meet in Ghana and with the internet it is maybe not as hard as just hanging out on a corner risking life and limb.
God bless you as you walk the path of His purpose for your life.

Gays4jesus: often God’s blessing is in the person that says “God bless you” after all God is not magic and he indeed uses his children and others to bless. A bless to this Ghana gay man would be directions to somewhere he can safely meet a potential life partner. Also, emailing the broader church in Ghana to stop their lies about gays.

A site like gaychristian101 has such a wealth of facts showing gay is not sin that regular outreach of email or other means which is a no cost (just time) effort to pastors in Ghana and other countries that still illegalizes gays. These gay haters (by their behaviors of condemning gays) are our brothers and sisters too. They believe wrongly gay is sin. Part of our walk and calling as gay Christians is shed our love to those that persecute us. This can take many forms, but one is those with vast arsenals of truth such as gaychrisstian101 is a fabulous way of reaching out in love with truth that might set a whole country free from the bondage of the false doctrine against gays. I often get chats from gay people from Ghana. My life and calling really is not to this country, but with little effort, I can come up with some moments to lift up these Ghana gays.

Praying for and wishing God’s blessing is certainly good, but acts of love like telling this man where he can find another man would be a direct way to bless him that he can actually act on. I remember, reading my first newspaper that had a friendly gay message too and listed a gay bar. I went to that bar and that same night met my first lover. We stayed together for 10 years. That was the most amazing thing that ever happened finding a place I could go and see there really are others like me. This Ghana gay man wants that experience in finding a place to go. Advice is great, but he still sits at home starring out his window longing to be held.



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